Category — bumblefucked rants

Yes, that is right. We do. We still have the chair. No one ever came for it yesterday despite the email I rec’d below. Now, I’m just waiting to see if the refund shows up.

Hi [bumblefucked],

 

Sorry for all the inconvenience you have experienced with your return. I did call the warehouse and the return will be picked up today. I have gone ahead and issued you the credit of $140.71 back to your VI card. If you have any further issues or comments feel free to contact me back.

 

 

    Matt Dickman

     Associate Help Desk Lead

     Phone: (800) 304-0390 ext 6077

     Email: Matthew.Dickman@Staples.com

Staples called… the refund should be credited within 48-72 hours. They should pick up the chair within the next two hours.

Apparently threat is the only language retailers speak.

Below you will see a copy of the EECB that I sent out to Staples. I got the email address format for sending a Staples EECB from the Consumerist. I also used the complaint letter template from the Consumerist.

In case you need to email the execs at Staples, here are the email addresses that I used that did not come back to me with a ‘return to sender’ immediately:

michael.miles@staples.com,
jay.baitler@staples.com,
john.barton@staples.com,
kristin.campbell@staples.com,
jevin.eagle@staples.com,
shira.goodman@staples.com,
pete.howard@staples.com,
susan.hoyt@staples.com,
christine.komola@staples.com,
brian.light@staples.com,
john.mahoney@staples.com,
demos.parneros@staples.com,
support@staples.com

And now, my EECB letter (sent with the subject line of “Staples Order #XXXXXXXXX – Customer Service FAIL”):

Dear Staples Executive Team & Support,

On 9/12/08 I placed an order on Staples.com for item #745178 (True Black Puresoft Quilted Manager’s Chair).

Unfortunately an email confirmation of my order did not appear by the next afternoon. I attempted to view my order status on your website with no luck so I called up your customer service number. I was told that there was no record of my order and that I would have to do a whole new order.

I placed a new order on Staples.com, order # XXXXXXXXX and got an email confirmation. On 9/16/08 the item that I ordered arrived, only it was for the original order, #XXXXXXXXX, which your customer service center claimed did not exist. Then, on 9/17/08 I received the item from my re-order as well.

Clearly I do not need two chairs, so I looked over the return info on the packing slip and was relieved to see the bolded “Hassle Free Returns” and that all I had to do was call your customer service center again.

That evening, on 9/17/08, I called your customer service line and spoke with Jeff about returning the 2nd chair. He advised me that a local courier would be at my apartment within 5 business days to pick it up and that I would get a refund 5 business days after that.

The local courier never arrived.

On 9/29/08, I called your customer service center to inquire as to where my pickup was for this chair. I spoke with Shayna who advised me that someone should have called me and that she would re-issue the pick up request. Again, I was told it would be five business days.

The local courier never arrived the second time.

On 10/15/08 I called your customer service for the 3rd time where I spoke with Jackie. She looked over the notes on the account and advised me that she could see where the pickup had been scheduled twice previous but that it never made it to scheduling either time. While she never bothered to apologize for the month-long wait I had been experiencing, she did say that she would re-issue the pick up request with a special “asap” note.

As you can imagine, the local courier never arrived and today is the 5th business day.

This is anything but ‘hassle free returns’ and it is highly unacceptable.

To resolve this problem, I would like the money for this order (#XXXXXXXXXX) credited to my credit card immediately. If you cannot get someone out to my apartment to pick up your chair, why not send a UPS return label since it arrived via UPS? I have spent a month in good faith trying to return this item to you and your company has repeatedly failed me in customer service. I am aware that I can request a chargeback through my credit card, which as I understand it only hurts you, but I am giving you a chance to correct this situation in less than five business days.

I look forward to your reply and a speedy resolution to my problem. I will wait until the end of this week, 10/24/08, before seeking help by other means including contacting a consumer protection agency or the Better Business Bureau and filing a chargeback with my credit card company. Please contact me by email or by phone at XXX-XXX-XXXX.

Sincerely,

The Bumblefucked Household

There it is. Stay tuned to see how it turns out for me.

In case you forgot, last month I wrote about being bumblefucked by Staples. If you missed it, here is the Reader’s Digest version of what happened:

• Riley & I ordered 2 desk chairs on Staples.com
• We did not get email confirmations
• Called Staples Customer Service, told the orders were not in the system and to re-order
• We re-ordered
• A total of 3 chairs showed up, one for me and two for Riley. She only has one ass so we needed to return one of her chairs.

I quickly discovered that the Hassle Free Return policy at Staples was all hassle. Seriously. After waiting for return pickup, I decided that Staples really does suck. And when my second wait for a pick up expired I was beyond frustrated with Staples. I was prepping for a 3rd call to their crappy customer service line.

Well, I did call a 3rd time and was told that my previous two requests for pickups were never issued! Argh! Then I was promised that the chair would be picked up ASAP. Well, no surprise, but today is the 5th business day and I still have the chair.

So, I’m taking some advice from the Consumerist and sending out a EECB. Stay tuned to see how it goes!

The Bumblefucked household moves around. A lot. In fact, I think we just might be party gypsy – minus the really cool head scarves. I bet if you ran the numbers it would come out to something like we move every 1.5 years. So that means a lot of previous phone numbers and previous addresses. Usually that is no big deal. That is until you have to do one of those pesky identity verification things and you can’t remember if any of those phone numbers or street addresses were once yours. That happened to me today with ING Direct. I was trying to add a new account. Then it wanted to verify my identity. Just 3 little questions. Sadly, the one on previous phone numbers(minus area code or it would have been easy) I got wrong. End conclusion? Moving around can be a pain.

I decided to give Staples the benefit of the doubt. I thought I would give them an extra day or two to pick up this chair.

Guess what?

The freaking chair is still here! And there is no sign of Staples. And I am growing more and more annoyed. Why? Because now I have to call them for the 3rd time. Actually the 4th if you count when I had to call them about the orders not showing up initially. I am also annoyed since it takes “5 business days” to get my money refunded once they actually take back their freaking chair!

I am thinking I will try to get them to let me take it to a store. I might get my money refunded sooner that way. The bummer with this plan is that the box is freaking heavy.

Staples – I hate you and will NEVER shop with you again. EVER!!!

photo: ricale

I am wondering if I can just file a chargeback. I mean, technically I have tried to return it twice. And technically they have shown that they aren’t taking the return. I also thought about trying to take it into the store. Well, apparently there is a 14-day limit on furniture returns, sot that looks like it is out. I just wish I had known that in the beginning.

How frustrating.

If you recall on the 17th I wrote about being Bumblefucked by Staples. Just a recap – I placed two orders online. I wasn’t sent confirmation emails for either. I called customer service to re-order, which was a painful nightmare. A grand total of three chairs showed up at the apartment. On the 17th I called Staples to explain the problem and return one chair. They advised me that a local courier would be by to pick it up in 5 business days and that I would get my refund in an additional 5 business days.

As of today, 8 business days later, I am still in possession of the chair. It sucks not being able to go anywhere because you are waiting for a courier to show up. So, I call Staples back today. They tell me that the chair should have already been picked up. Clearly nothing gets by the CSRs at Staples! The solution? They will re-issue the pick-up request. That means 5 more business days of waiting. I am thinking a chargeback just might be easier.

If this is how Staples defines “hassle free” I would hate to think of how they define “hassle.” And why can’t I just return this to the store down the street? That would be “hassle free.”

I wanted to buy two semi-comfortable desk chairs. There is a Staples nearby so away we went to Staples. As luck would have it, the chair model we decided on was the only one without stock on the floor. And no employees were within site. We waited. Still no employees. So, we left with the thought of buying it online since Staples delivers for free.

I easily found the chair on the Staples website and scored two $25 off coupon codes on eBay for a total of $9. I ordered the first chair. No problems. I order the second chair, where I am told delivery will be delayed. Oh well. So, this was on Friday.

On Saturday I noticed that there were no confirmation emails from Staples in our inbox. The coupon codes had expired the day I used them, so I took this as a ploy from Staples to get out of the $25 coupon. I called up Staples “Customer Service” line. The slowest and dumbest person on the face of the planet answered the call. Lucky me.

She told me the order was not in the system. She re-took the order for me. Then her computer crashed (supposedly) and she could not give me an order number and promised to email it to me.

Guess what? It never came!

So, I just re-ordered online.

As of today, three chairs have arrived. All three were ordered online. I can’t wait to see if a fourth shows up!

So, now I have to deal with returning this one. I called and apparently a local courier will come for it within 5 business days. Then the money will be put back on my card within 5 additional business days.

What a pain. And how do these companies get away with holding money ransom like this, effectively giving themselves an interest free mini loan?

As previously mentioned, the Bumblefucked household is selling hella stuff on eBay. Some of that stuff are some posters. Posters have to be mailed in poster tubes.

It is hella hard to find poster mailing tubes.

I went to Wal-Mart. No mailing tubes.

I went to CVS. No mailing tubes.

I went to Target. No mailing tubes.

I went to FedEx Kinko’s to drop off a FedEx package and noticed mailing tubes. Score! I needed the smaller tubes. The price tag above the tubed clearly read $1.99. They ring up $2.49, but I am already having issues with the people that work their to decide it is not worth the dollar to deal with them.

Fast-forward to yesterday. I am in need of an additional mailing tube. I patronize a different FedEx Kinko’s location. This one has a nice sign that lists all of the mailing tubes by size with their price next to them. Guess what? The cost is listed as $1.99 here as well.  I get to the register and it rings up $2.49 again. But again I have other needs in the store and decide it is best to not have a fight over the price.

So, I got bumblefucked on the price of mailing tubes at FedEx Kinko’s twice at two different locations. That makes me think that this is not an isolated incident. Instead, it appears to be company wide SOP. I can’t wait to travel to another state and see if the same thing happens. I have no need for additional mailing tubes but I am really curious about the price at other locations.